Some highlights to paint a better picture of the weights we both carry around: I have been addicted to some form of drug or pornography for probably 80% of the relationship, she has cheated on me during one period 10+ years ago which she blames on her childhood sexual abuse, and was in a short term sexual relationship with a man during a ~4 month period ~7 years ago while I was kicked out and living with a relative for having said some horrible things in the throws of an opioid addiction. We both come from broken/dysfunctional homes so there was an epic pile of bad habits, bad decisions, self-discovery, some highs, and some major lows we have somehow managed to push through to keep our family together and raise a, now, 15 year old son that we both couldn't be prouder of. We met around 17/18 years old, fell in love, and within ~14 months we found out she's pregnant. So.some "brief" back story here, my wife an I have been together for 18 years, married for 6 of those. Tl dr: wife and I have a complicated past, a "friend" of her's I know she's been talking to and felt comfortable with how it was explained to me messages her at 1am while she is asleep and I pretend to be her to get the guy to open up to me, and now I'm in the dog house and caused potentially long term damage. If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship or would like information on warning signs to watch out for, check out The Red Flag Campaign. If a user has sent you harassing messages, please upload your screenshot to, and notify the mods via modmail. Users found to be privately messaging other users to circumvent this directive will be met with a permanent, irrevocable ban. If you wish to opine on the matter at hand, you are to comment on the post. No espousing rhetoric/linking to subs or content that is conspiratorial in nature, transphobic, anti-women/men, anti-LBGT+, that promote anti-vaxx or anti-science content, or contains harmful rhetoric against groups of people. No referencing hateful or abusive subs/individuals and content. We do not care who started it, or how deserving you think the subject of your ire. Please note that this is not an all-inclusive list. This includes, but is not limited to: Whore, ho, hoe, slut, bitch, idiot, moron, slut shaming (including "I can't get over their past"), slurs against someone's racial, ethnic, religious, gender or sexual identity. Insulting anyone (be it OP, the subject of the post, someone you know/used to know, users, etc) will result in post/comment removal, and the user being banned. No name calling, insults, or insensitive language ( details). Remember, the goal is to help your fellow human. Derailing arguments, jokes, fights, and moral whataboutism is not allowed. message us) before communicating with users directly.Īll comments must be on topic and focus on the OP, in good faith. Press Requests must be routed through u/eganist (via modmail. If you're doing educational work, message us with your IRB number, a point of contact for us to verify your pending research, and the details of your research for consideration. Surveys, information requests, journalistic and academic research questions must be sent to modmail here and approved prior to posting. You can submit an update post exactly once at any time after 48 hours has past from the original post. Things this sub can't give advice on: Rants, unsolicited advice, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, mental health issues, medical health issues, legal problems, financial problems, any situations involving minors (under 18 regardless of local laws), and any situations involving abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). For what a moral judgement question would be please see this post. Moral judgement requests are asking people to evaluate actions taken or actions you want to take, in the context of right, wrong, selfish, or not selfish etc. No submissions giving advice, no links, no youtube videos, hypotheticals, general discussion/DAE/polls, adverts, or spam. Posts must contain a title that includes basic information such as ages, genders, length of relationship with text that has a description, a TLDR, and a direct answerable question.Īll submissions must request advice on a specific situation between two or more people. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help!
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